I've always felt different. Of course, 100 percent of everyone else on this planet probably feels different too. We are all unique, vastly differing individuals. So what makes me any different from you, or the person riding on the bus, or working in an office cubicle?

Well. First off, I am Bipolar II, with Globophobia(fear of balloons), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Severe Depression.

Now I know there are a lot of people out there who have the same mental illnesses as I. I am sure they all deal with it differently, too.

However I am here to tell you about my life, and how such disorders have affected me. Being a gamer as I am, it has affected my Gaming life, too.

So where should I start? How about when I was little.

October 1986, I was born. 4 years before 1990, 5 years before the fall of the Soviet Union in December of 1991. I remember watching the First Gulf War happen on TV at my home. But also, in 1991 was when my father brought home a Nintendo Entertainment System, that came with Duck Hunt and Super Mario Brothers on the same cartridge, and the light gun.


I can remember the day clearly. I had been playing outside after school, riding my Orange and black bike I got for my 4th birthday in 1990, when my dad came home early from work. I knew something was up then, because my father never came home when it was daylight. He always worked his one job, then got off and did his second job being a mechanic for hire. So it was always dark when he got home, and he was tired.

My brother and I wondered what was going on, when my mom stepped out of the back door and asked him "if he get it" today.

My father laughed, and hauled a big bag out of the cab of his 1979 Chevy truck. It was a Sears bag(apparently my parents had Sears Credit Card at the time, but I wasn't aware of this until I was much older) and when we followed him inside our single wide trailer, he showed us what was inside the bag.


My brother was 10 at the time, so he knew what it was right off the bat. Me? I didn't. The only console I had ever played at the time was the Atari 2600(which had the wood panels on it!) and I wasn't really impressed.

But that gray and black square block of plastic the NES was? That was my first taste of Video Games. However we were not allowed to open the box until my brothers birthday, which was very close.

That night I had terrible nightmares, and had to sleep in the bed with my parents. The next day at school, I got into a fight in the bathroom and broke a kids nose. I got angry for no reason, and beat the shit out of him.


The next day, after having my ass torn up by my father, I told the teacher she was beautiful. I had a good day, and when I got home my brother and I went next door and played with our neighbors. One of them pushed me down into a huge growth of poison ivy.

When I got up I savagely beat and scratch the kid that did it.

A few days later I broke up with poison ivy rashes on 95 percent of my body. The top of my head and bottom of my feet had rashes. It was terrible.


I was still broke out by the time of my brothers birthday. So I wasn't able to play the NES when it was set up. In between that time and I was completely healed, I kept up my grades at school and enjoyed being nice to other kids.

Then I had a mental breakdown, at 6, because my dog ran away and I had to be evaluated by a doctor, and was held from school to "get rest".

The entire week I was out of school I played the NES. I played Mega Man, Duck Hunt, Excite Bike, and Super Mario Brothers. I became obsessed with it. And when I was ready to go back to school, I wasn't having any issues. For the rest of the year, I had no problems...as long as I was able to play the NES...